Well, I hate to say it, but I changed the start date of my 30 days challenge from the 11th to today.  About 10 minutes after I posted my previous post, my boyfriend called me at work to say our home had been broken into and ransacked sometime after we left for work.  All of my deceased mother's jewelry is gone.  My laptop.  Electric guitar.  Our Playstation 3.  My tablet. The heirloom diamond my boyfriend intended to give me when he proposed marriage.  All gone.  Worst of all, our sense of privacy and security was invaded and damaged.  

So April 11, all I wanted was to get out of that house and into the wine.  I wanted to shut off the fear and insult and loss; to escape the confusion and chaos.  I forgive myself.  I will stand up straight and dust myself off, and start again today.  And in the future, perhaps I will be stronger and more able to handle struggles without needing to lean on the crutch of a thick, numbing wine buzz.

We took the day off yesterday to piece the house back together and try to clean away to filthy feeling of a stranger rudely invading our home, violating it.  I take a great deal of comfort in that my cats and dog are unhurt; I can't imagine what state I would be in if he (She? They?) wounded them or stole them away; they are precious to me.  My chihuahua is so friendly she probably would have happily gone on an adventure, though my Maine Coon cat would have happily ripped his face off.  And our support system has been amazing; We are so grateful for every person who reached out in loving kindness to offer support.

Anyway...once again...Cheers to sobriety.